What a Difference...

... a few months can make.

My wife, the Notorious HFG, and i just just visited some friends who just welcome a child into the world. This newborn, turns out, has the same specs* that the Notorious HFG had when he was born. He was born about a week ago.

It is remarkable how different their son is to my son. We, humans, are remarkable creatures. How quickly we change and grow and become. It is hard for me to remember what it was like back during those first days. Yet, in an instant, i have a flash and remember all too well. I distinctly remember thinking, "Is he ever gonna get any bigger? What is he gonna be like in a couple of months?"

I think these are universal questions. I looked at that newborn and i am brought back to the sense of wonder and awe. There is so much potential and some future locked in that little body. So many ways to grow and develop into a little person. Part of the story is already available. I see that in my son. I see where and what shape my friend's son is going to go but it is an incomplete picture.

It is too soon to see what kind of personality is hiding in that tiny bundle. Rather, it is not available for the casual eye. The parents probably have gotten some sense of what the child is going to be like. I know my son's temperment and recognized it within the first few hours he was with us. Now, 8 months later, he is still the same with some added features.

The changes are subtle. The changes are great. We don't always see them. It is when someone else remarks and takes notice that we notice some of the more distinct changes. There are the larger changes. The little signposts along the road of his development. Yet, even these larger changes sweep in slowly. By the time they have reach fruition, we've taken them for granted.

It is kind of funny that many changes in my son also reflect changes in me and my wife too. We adapt and have adapted and will continue to do so. In talking with my friend, i remembered thinking about the things that would be changing for me in those early days (daze). My friend asked me if it was hard to hold my son for an extended period of time as he gets heavier and how he was somewhat worried about being able to hold his son like that and bear the strain. I told him that it really wasn't difficult and that there was no other feeling like it in the world.

I realize that when we are first learning to adapt to this new re-ordering, re-organizing of our lives, we view the future's issues (or what we believe to be the future's issues) with our current eyes, without any regards to the unforseen changes we will make for ourselves. We cannot know, truly, how we will change, how we will adapt, how we will develop to re-order, re-organize ourselves in efforts to find balance. It is ever evolving. It is impossible to know what challenges we will directly face and what we will learn from them.

My answer to him was tempered by the profound pleasure and joy i experience when i hold my son. Perhaps i do strain under his weight. Perhaps i react in a way that i would not have thought possible back so many months ago. Yet, i don't really notice the strained muscles when i am in his presence. I do notice my reactions and i try to check them if they seem unwarranted.

Just like his gradual subtle developments, i have become more and more entranced by his simple innocence of being there.